I'm about 15 pounds overweight. I have concluded this on my own without a medical or fitness education, so take it for what you want. Even if it is more than that I don't know that I could be that honest with myself.
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I have worked pretty hard the past two or three years to lose weight. Some months I worked a lot harder than others. I never went on a really strict diet or a crazy exercise routine. I did workout several times a week, we cleaned up some of our eating habits and I even trained for and ran a half marathon. Unfortunately, I haven't seen much success. I have lost a few pounds here or there, but inevitably I have gained them back. And trust me, this is not a pity party; I'm simply giving you some context for where my head is at right now.
Do I want to be overweight? No. Am I willing to completely sacrifice or give up things that I enjoy that may not be very healthy just to shed a few pounds? Probably not. And you know what? My love handles have a history. A story all their own. And as crazy as this sounds, I have earned those extra pounds.
College did a number on me, like most people I think. In high school I played sports nearly year-round; sometimes the sports seasons would overlap one another. Several weeks throughout the school year I would have double practices, spending four hours after school doing physical activity, 3-5 times a week. So naturally, when you transition from that schedule to one consisting of hours in class, hours in studio and hours watching One Tree Hill reruns on Soapnet, I gained a few pounds. I tried to be conscious of what I was doing to my body, but there is only so much you can do when getting through college is your only goal. And when I say "getting through" I mean surviving without failing a class, completely running out of money or suffering a nervous breakdown. I'm sure there was more I could have done; hindsight is always 20/20 as they say. But I don't know that I would have done anything differently, given the chance to do it again.
Sure, I could have bought my own groceries and made fresh food in my dorm instead of going to the dining hall. But then I would have missed out on unforgettable moments with my new college friends. I would have never learned how to make "Derek's Mac 'n cheese" when nothing else looked appetizing. I wouldn't have gotten to know the sweet old lady who swiped our meal cards. I wouldn't have been able to hear the gossip from last night's shenanigans.
And yes, I could have not gone on so many "ice cream dates". But I would have missed precious time with a new best friend. A best friend that I would live hours away from in just three short years. A friend that, five years after graduating college and moving back home, I can still say is my best friend.
Now, you could look at me and judge me - say I'm making excuses. And that's fine. You haven't heard my whole story.
Here is what you don't know: those extra pounds are my "battle wounds", if you will, from my three years at college. Three years that is scheduled to be four years - but I was broke; I lived off of scholarships and money from being a Resident Advisor, and refused to get a student loan. Three years that required me to spend every summer taking classes to graduate on time. Three years away from my boyfriend (now husband) that were brutally painful for us at times.
You can't see, just by looking at me, that part of that weight comes from eating a sickening amount of ramen noodles. There were times when I had no money to buy groceries and I literally ate ramen noodles four times a day. And even when I did have some money for groceries, it was never much. My college diet could pretty much be summed up with the following: processed food, dining hall food and fast food. None of which are good for you or "healthy", but all are cheap and affordable when your monthly income is $80.
You also don't know that my lack of sleep probably assisted in my weight gain. Sleep was optional more than it was required during college. My third and final year in school, I went to sleep more often during daytime hours than nighttime hours. The parking lot closest to the studio was only available to students until 7am. I would stay up all night working and leave with just minutes to spare to narrowly miss a $25 parking ticket from Public Safety. I would call my boyfriend and say goodnight to him when he was waking up to get ready for work. My whole world was on a different schedule.
You weren't there the nights we actually made time to go out and let off a little steam. We were so stressed out every single day that we were desperate for a little fun. And you weren't there when my closest friends were turning 21. When we were able to celebrate one of the most exciting birthdays in a person's life. "The nights you won't remember with the friends you won't forget". Nights I could not reschedule, nights I could never replace.
So I will continue to work on myself, improving my fitness and physique. And some days I will be really hard on myself, regretting the decisions that led me to where I am now. But on those days I will have to remind myself that everything in life is give and take. And if I had to take a little weight gain to have an unforgettable college experience, that is fine by me. If earning a college degree without any student loans mean having a muffin top, that's okay. If I had to go up a pant size in order to acquire lifelong friends, I'll take it. That is a price worth paying in my book.
So cheers to those of us who have earned our extra pounds. Whether it be because you had a rigorous college experience, grew a human (or two, or three...), struggle with sickness/disease, or maybe just haven't made super great choices 100% of the time, we all have our reasons. Everybody has a story and every body has one too. To those of you who are trying to be a better version of yourself, I toast to you with a giant glass of water in my hand (working on those 60oz!). And to those of you who are perfectly content, extra pounds or not, I strive to be like you everyday.
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