Can I just say something?
The last 12 months have been a blur.
My latest post was at the end of last May... so let me fill you in since then:
At the beginning of last June, we started to really get our arms around just how sick my Aunt was. She lives in Florida, so after figuring out that we might not have much time left with her, I took a few days off work and went with my family to see her. I was grateful to have the time with her, even though spending your days in a hospital room is not high on most people's list. As a family, we really came together to be there for each other and support one another. We shared some special memories and made a few new ones, too. I said my goodbye's to Terri the day I had to fly back home, and I don't know that I will ever forget that moment.
My sister's big bachelorette trip to Nashville was the following weekend, so I spent the spare minutes I had perfecting the plans and decorations for the trip. We all had a great time - Nashville is a whole lot of fun!! The Sunday we got back, we got word that my Aunt had passed. It is so crazy to me that you can be on such a high from having a blast exploring a new city, and in a split second, can crash down so low after hearing news like that.
There is never a "convenient" time to lose someone you care about. My family just had to keep plugging along on things for my sister's September wedding, even in the midst of dealing with my Aunt's passing. At the beginning of August we threw my sister an adorable "Breakfast at Tiffany's" themed bridal shower. My Aunt, Stepmom and Grandma and I had a great time hand-making the decorations for the shower. I was so pleased with how it turned out! (maybe a future blog post..?)
About a month before the wedding we threw my sister a mini-bachelorette party here in St. Louis, since the group that went to Nashville was the bridal party only. We wanted other friends and family to have the chance to celebrate with her as well. It was the first bachelorette party I have attended where the bride decided, spur-of-the-moment, to get a tattoo! It was a little crazy, but hey! it's her wedding, right?
As you can guess, the entire summer just flew right by with all of the wedding festivities, which took us right to the middle of the September - the BIG day! Everything went off without a hitch and everyone had a great time dancing the night away in a big beautiful barn under the stars. Kyle, the groom, even rode on horseback into the ceremony!
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| Tracy Wallin Photography |
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| Tracy Wallin Photography |
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| Tracy Wallin Photography |
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| Tracy Wallin Photography |
I also failed to mention - mixed in with all the wedding madness - my sister and parents surprised me with a pet pig for my birthday! I know that sounds crazy, but for real, I've wanted a pig since I was like 12. For me, it was a dream come true.
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| Calvin Swine |
October... Halloween, Halloween party... November... Thanksgiving... December... Christmas...
(plus the usual laundry-bills-work-exercise-grocery shop-etc. squished in those months)
*whew* we made it to 2016!
Throughout all of last year, my three sisters and I worked really hard to make my Mom's year special. You might have read in other posts that she was diagnosed with terminal stage 4 cancer back in April of 2014. Her prognosis was 2 years, with chemo. We planned some big dinners for her and got some of her siblings together for a special meal. She also kept working on crossing off items on her bucket list, and making memories with her daughters and grandchildren. It wasn't always an easy road; my sisters and I spent many days texting and calling each other frustrated with the symptoms of mom's sickness, or medicine, or some combination of both. It is heartbreaking to watch someone's mind and body give way while you can't do a thing about it.
After the holiday craziness had died down, my sisters and I changed our focus, almost entirely, to Mom. Her health and mental state were declining and we wanted to be as prepared as we could be for the inevitable. On a Saturday in April, I said goodbye to my Mom for the last time, and she passed away the next morning. The following days were even more of a blur than the last year had been. I basically stopped working on work, and only worked on things for her service. We had the service on a Friday, and then it was right back into the swing of things on Monday. Or at least, attempt to. It has been hard to adjust to her being gone. We had a very... unique relationship. We were not your typical mother-daughter bond many people are lucky enough to have. But that doesn't mean I loved her any less, or don't miss her as much.
So all of that brings me to right here. This moment. It has been almost a month since Mom has passed and it still feels like just yesterday. I am still adjusting. I am still recovering from last year and this year, and everything, really. At this point it doesn't feel right to say "recovering" because things have been moving so fast for so long I can't even keep up with what I am recovering from!
Posts will likely be slow on the blog again for a little while. I actually considered just letting it die a quiet, peaceful death. But I was (pleasantly) surprised to see the blog had traffic every single month last year, even though I didn't post anything the last seven months. So somebody must be checking in to see what's been happening here. Whoever you are - THANK YOU!! It means the world to me.
I hope that this post finds you well. That you are taking care of yourself, loving those who are close to you, or you are at least opening your eyes with fresh life each morning. As cheesy as that might sound, sometimes that is the biggest (or only) accomplishment I have in a given day.
