a blur

It is the last hour of the last day of April in the year 2016.  It has been almost an entire year since I posted here... whoa.

Can I just say something?
        The last 12 months have been a blur.

My latest post was at the end of last May... so let me fill you in since then:

At the beginning of last June, we started to really get our arms around just how sick my Aunt was.  She lives in Florida, so after figuring out that we might not have much time left with her, I took a few days off work and went with my family to see her.  I was grateful to have the time with her, even though spending your days in a hospital room is not high on most people's list.  As a family, we really came together to be there for each other and support one another.  We shared some special memories and made a few new ones, too.  I said my goodbye's to Terri the day I had to fly back home, and I don't know that I will ever forget that moment.

My sister's big bachelorette trip to Nashville was the following weekend, so I spent the spare minutes I had perfecting the plans and decorations for the trip.  We all had a great time - Nashville is a whole lot of fun!!  The Sunday we got back, we got word that my Aunt had passed.  It is so crazy to me that you can be on such a high from having a blast exploring a new city, and in a split second, can crash down so low after hearing news like that.

There is never a "convenient" time to lose someone you care about.  My family just had to keep plugging along on things for my sister's September wedding, even in the midst of dealing with my Aunt's passing.  At the beginning of August we threw my sister an adorable "Breakfast at Tiffany's" themed bridal shower.  My Aunt, Stepmom and Grandma and I had a great time hand-making the decorations for the shower.  I was so pleased with how it turned out!  (maybe a future blog post..?)

About a month before the wedding we threw my sister a mini-bachelorette party here in St. Louis, since the group that went to Nashville was the bridal party only.  We wanted other friends and family to have the chance to celebrate with her as well.  It was the first bachelorette party I have attended where the bride decided, spur-of-the-moment, to get a tattoo!  It was a little crazy, but hey!  it's her wedding, right?

As you can guess, the entire summer just flew right by with all of the wedding festivities, which took us right to the middle of the September - the BIG day!  Everything went off without a hitch and everyone had a great time dancing the night away in a big beautiful barn under the stars.  Kyle, the groom, even rode on horseback into the ceremony!

Tracy Wallin Photography

Tracy Wallin Photography

Tracy Wallin Photography

Tracy Wallin Photography

I also failed to mention - mixed in with all the wedding madness - my sister and parents surprised me with a pet pig for my birthday!  I know that sounds crazy, but for real, I've wanted a pig since I was like 12.  For me, it was a dream come true.

Calvin Swine

October... Halloween, Halloween party...   November... Thanksgiving...   December... Christmas...
(plus the usual laundry-bills-work-exercise-grocery shop-etc. squished in those months)

*whew* we made it to 2016!

Throughout all of last year, my three sisters and I worked really hard to make my Mom's year special.  You might have read in other posts that she was diagnosed with terminal stage 4 cancer back in April of 2014.  Her prognosis was 2 years, with chemo.  We planned some big dinners for her and got some of her siblings together for a special meal.  She also kept working on crossing off items on her bucket list, and making memories with her daughters and grandchildren.  It wasn't always an easy road; my sisters and I spent many days texting and calling each other frustrated with the symptoms of mom's sickness, or medicine, or some combination of both.  It is heartbreaking to watch someone's mind and body give way while you can't do a thing about it.

After the holiday craziness had died down, my sisters and I changed our focus, almost entirely, to Mom.  Her health and mental state were declining and we wanted to be as prepared as we could be for the inevitable.  On a Saturday in April, I said goodbye to my Mom for the last time, and she passed away the next morning.  The following days were even more of a blur than the last year had been.  I basically stopped working on work, and only worked on things for her service.  We had the service on a Friday, and then it was right back into the swing of things on Monday.  Or at least, attempt to.  It has been hard to adjust to her being gone.  We had a very... unique relationship.  We were not your typical mother-daughter bond many people are lucky enough to have.  But that doesn't mean I loved her any less, or don't miss her as much.

So all of that brings me to right here.  This moment.  It has been almost a month since Mom has passed and it still feels like just yesterday.  I am still adjusting.  I am still recovering from last year and this year, and everything, really.  At this point it doesn't feel right to say "recovering" because things have been moving so fast for so long I can't even keep up with what I am recovering from!

Posts will likely be slow on the blog again for a little while.  I actually considered just letting it die a quiet, peaceful death.  But I was (pleasantly) surprised to see the blog had traffic every single month last year, even though I didn't post anything the last seven months.  So somebody must be checking in to see what's been happening here.  Whoever you are - THANK YOU!!  It means the world to me.


I hope that this post finds you well.  That you are taking care of yourself, loving those who are close to you, or you are at least opening your eyes with fresh life each morning.  As cheesy as that might sound, sometimes that is the biggest (or only) accomplishment I have in a given day.

missing in action

Hey gang!  How are you?  If by chance you have stopped by the blog to check in, I apologize for my lack of presence lately.  I have put in some crazy overtime hours the past five weeks which kept me from making great new content over here.

Needless to say, I've already busted my 2015 resolution of posting 4x a month... but that won't keep my from trying the rest of this year!  I have some ideas for new posts, so keep your eyes peeled for some great new stuff.

What have I been up to, besides living at the office, you ask?  Great question.  One weekend we spent the whole time doing laundry and chores because we (I) had neglected them.  Last weekend we went to see Disney on Ice: Frozen.  It was phenomenal.  And no, we don't have kids ;)  I'm just a big Disney geek and loved it almost as much as the adorable 2.5 year-old behind us.  For the record:  I did not wear an Elsa costume (they don't come in my size...).  I randomly stopped drinking coffee for three days, but don't worry, I got back on the bandwagon!  Oh ya, I've worked on collecting our tax documents, but haven't actually gotten around the submitting them. Pretty much I've been really on top of things and life and stuff...

Check back soon, and I promise to have some new posts for you!  Also, it has snowed a lot the past week or two, but I swear that Spring will be here soon-ish.  And that means lots of fun outside projects :)

Happy Tuesday!

this is why we can't have nice things

We changed the sheets today.  Big accomplishment, right?  Let me rewind......

We have two dogs, pitbulls to be exact,  85 lbs and 45 lbs.  They are basically our children (for now, maybe someday we will have actual children without tails), and yes, they sleep in our bed.  Sometimes even under the blankets.  We aren't freaks or anything, we just love our dogs, a lot.

Ok - earlier this year (March maybe?) the dogs were playing on the bed and tore the comforter.  I was pretty disappointed; we had gotten the comforter as a wedding gift (had been married 1.5 years at that time) and I really loved it.  So I got onto Target's website to see if they happened to still carry it.  Lucky for me, they did!  We ordered a new one (king size for our queen size bed, someone *me* hogs the blankets), but when it came in the mail my husband decided to just leave it in the box because soon we wouldn't need the comforter anymore (it would be too warm).  So there it sat, in our office/storage room until today.

Ok - another (similar) story.  A week or so ago, the dogs were playing on the bed and ripped a giant tear in the fitted sheet (exactly where I sleep, if you were wondering).  When I say giant, I mean I would wake up and my entire arm would be stuck in between the fitted sheet and the mattress because I had gotten it stuck in the torn fabric.  We have another set of sheets but I just hadn't gotten around to changing them out (too busy getting my Christmas home tour ready).  Yesterday we were at Costco and they had some sheets that were almost the exact color of said torn sheets, so we bought them.

Side bar: this story is soooo interesting, I'm sure your dying to hear the end of it!

My husband is off work for the remainder of the year, so I asked him to wash the new sheets and new/old comforter while I was at work so we could change out the bedding and everything would be fresh and new and clean and happy.  So we did all the swapping this evening.  We had even bought two new pillows yesterday so we busted those out of the package as well.  Exciting stuff, really.  While I am straightening out the comforter, my husband lets the dogs in from outside and Diesel runs in and immediately jumps on the bed.

This is what happens:

MUD.  Everywhere!  He is covering up half of the paw prints.  You can visibly see at least five, but trust me, there are more.  He is looking quite guilty and pitiful, isn't he?

Truly, this is why we can't have nice things

I already told you about how my cats were trying to ruin Christmas.  And now this!  I'm not even mad though.  It will come out in the washer.

And you know what?  I wouldn't have it any other way.  I would rather buy new bedding every 1.5 years and have our pups sleep with us.  And if you think I'm crazy, well that's okay :)

*Disclaimer:  this post was supposed to be explaining how even people who blog about their house have messes too, but it ended up being about how much I love the dogs.  Maybe I am a little crazy............

one thing at a time

As my husband and I slowly make this house ours, we usually just complete one thing at a time. For example, we had talked about adding a shed to the backyard (to sort-of-compensate for the no basement) when we first looked at the house. Now, 2-1/2 years after purchasing our house, we finally built the shed. And when I say "we" I mean my husband and his friend. I was in charge of dinner and cold beverages because it was 90+ degrees out.

That was our only focus.
The shed.
Until it was done.

Its funny, we have these cycles of projects and then nothing, projects and then nothing. I guess that doesn't sound so funny, it sounds really normal, actually. Let me elaborate... I have known what I wanted our house to look like pretty much since the day we moved in*. We painted within the first few months of living here, and that solidified the vision I had. I have a list on my phone of what we need to buy and what projects we need to do.

So we will slowly zone in on one specific thing, and then nothing else gets talked about or looked at until the current item is complete. And we almost always take a decompression break between projects. An adjustment period, if you will. I guess that's what is funny to me. I know some people want to get everything done all at one time so they are "done with it". I think the main reason why this doesn't work for us is I am so picky. I just can't help it though! I even struggled making a wedding registry for us because I couldn't find the towels, sheets and bedding that I wanted. It took me around six months of looking online and in-store to find bookcases I liked (that we could afford). The same with the nightstands in our bedroom.

So, even if I wanted to get everything done at one time (and could afford to do that!) I don't think it would ever actually happen.

Plus, it is kind of fun to have one certain thing you are focused on. I think it helps us to really fine tune what we are doing and to get exactly what we want instead of feeling pressured to "be done".

What about you? How do you go about your house projects? Does your spouse have a say in what goes on? Do they care?

*Disclaimer: this makes it sound like the house is 100% my decision. For the record, I always ask my husband what he thinks, he just usually doesn't have much to say besides "whatever you want". And, in the case that he does have an opinion or request,  I always try to accommodate that.
Side story: when we first moved in, we had the dish soap bottle on the sink (the one you use to hand wash dishes). This seemed normal to me, but one day out of the blue my husband proclaims that he hates the bottle sitting there, and we either had to store it under the sink or find a nicer looking bottle for the soap. So I went to Target and found a clear glass soap dispenser from the bathroom accessories aisle and that is what we use. It is the little things sometimes...

boxes

This a random little post here, but perfectly relevant to what I am doing right now.

Shipping boxes

Such a simple task, it seems. 

Have you ever shipped a box? Like, made the box, and packaged the box, and filled the box, and taped the box, and paid to ship the box, and scheduled to ship the box? Not to mention actually making what you are putting in the box.

Have you ever bought a box? Because that's a thing, ya know. Paying money for a blank, plain, boring brown box is a real thing. There are entire websites just for buying this very kind of box. And there are different types of plain brown cardboard. And different sizes of boxes. And boxes with different kinds of flaps. It is confusing really.

Never in my life did I think opening an Etsy shop would also involve educating myself on boxes.

All I'm saying is, next time you order something online and it magically arrives at your door, just remember, that box on your doorstep is much more complex than you might think :)